How to Kill Your Inner Critic & Negative Throughts So That You Can Finally Have Inner Peace & Morph Into a Confident Queen
Life is easier when we open our minds and allow ourselves to live in a flexible state of being. In our flexibility, we develop a level of self-trust that allows us to ride the waves of the chaos that naturally come up in the day-to-day with confidence and ease. In this state, we are truly empowered and free to access the solutions and wisdom that are always present inside of us.
This flexibility of the mind makes it possible for us to ebb and flow in a self-sufficient manner. In situations where you once panicked, froze under pressure, or gave up, you can take a deep breath to center yourself and handle things from a place of knowingness instead of fear, blame, and worry.
For instance, if your boss gives you a last-minute deadline, instead of complaining about how inconsiderate he is, worrying that you aren’t good enough to achieve the goal, or feeling generally overwhelmed when you look at the task at hand, you simply know that you are enough.
When you enter a flexible state of being, you are neither trapped nor burdened when challenges like these come up. Instead, know you're a being with limitless intelligence who can see a multitude of options, such as delegating part of the workload or implementing a creative solution to complete this and future tasks with ease. You have the power inside of you to be innovative.
However, when we are rigid, we close ourselves off when we feel stressed and frustrated. This makes it impossible to find solutions because we’re closing ourselves off to our truth, which is our infinite wisdom. This closing also traps us inside with our negative, self-defeating emotions.
So, instead of allowing solutions to bubble up from within our limitless wisdom, we’ve fully emerged ourselves into thoughts of panic, fear, frustration, and general hopelessness. There are no solutions available in this state of being. Instead, the idea of finding a solution feels impossible.
When we cling to our negative emotions, we create our own suffering. Then, life becomes all about dodging things that make you feel unsafe.
This takes away your sense of adventure and makes you fear things you cannot control. It’s a low-functioning, highly anxious way of living.
The truth is that you can always choose differently. You can feel negative emotions like frustration without allowing the frustration to become who you are. In order to do so, you need to be careful about the thoughts and emotions you allow to grow inside of you. Give your energy and attention to the thoughts and feelings that make you feel empowered, inspired, and uplifted, not those defeating ones.
You have to be willing to look at your patterns and figure out where they came from in order to heal their root cause and create new ones. This is a lot bigger than just thinking positively. This is a total mindset and lifestyle shift.
There’s no such thing as “I’ve been this way my entire life, so it’s just the way I’ll always be.” or “That’s too scary or too difficult, so I’m going to avoid it.”
Don’t keep shrugging off your need for joy and fulfillment. And don’t just accept defeat and limited thinking. That’s ignorance, my love. And whether you believe it or not, you’re capable of so much more. Remember, you have unlimited power inside of you waiting to be awakened.
So, how do we shift out of negative, self-critical thinking to confident, self-loving thinking?
We can change our way of thinking by choosing to make a habit out of shifting our thoughts and beliefs. We just have to let go of the “truths” we’ve been telling ourselves. They’re lies!
The real truth is that our beliefs are based on our past experiences, not facts. And our brains are wired to seek comfort and familiarity, not discomfort and growth.
This is why it’s easy to repeat the same negative thought patterns and why it’s so difficult to change. It’s totally natural for us to resist and fear change, but that doesn’t mean we’re truly "stuck."
“Difficult” doesn't mean "impossible" it just means you have to put in some effort and overcome some hurdles in order to change.
We can train our minds to become breeding grounds for positivity and confidence instead of fear and overwhelm.
It just takes time, patience, and repetition –things our microwave society likes to avoid.
If you want to recover from your bad habits, low self-esteem, and negative thought loops, you have to commit to removing and healing them at the root.
Spend time alone questioning your automatic reactions, figure out where they came from (I promise, you didn’t suddenly wake up this way.), and choose the way you’d rather react, think, and feel instead.
Read “To Anyone Who Wants to Conquer Their Limiting Beliefs But Can't Get Started” for my exact process for getting out of self-sabotaging habits and dropping limiting beliefs in order to live more authentically and joyfully.
Journal Prompts for Building Self-Love and Self-Acceptance
Remember when I said that your negative beliefs come from past experiences and not true facts?
I know this from experience. I was told that everything about me was completely "wrong" throughout my childhood and it completely ruled the way I saw myself and how I presented myself to others.
I elaborate on it a bit more about it in this video:
As promised, here are some journal prompts to support you in quieting those negative and critical voices to help you love yourself more
- List the things that you’ve been convinced are “wrong” with you and write about how they’re really your unique and powerful strengths.
- How can you accept your wrongness with self-love and an open heart?
- What will you do TODAY to celebrate your "wrongness?"
You deserve to happily move to the beat of your own drum with confidence and ease. Never forget that!