Reparenting: Giving myself what I was never given: Love, understanding, trusting, and being trusted. Compassion, healing, and ease. To know that no matter what challenges or traumas arise, I am still worthy of love, care, and respect. That shame doesn’t belong to me because it is perfectly okay to be imperfect and in those imperfections live my unique gifts and opportunities for further growth and exploration. I am free to explore and expand without meeting harm because I am allowed to do what I came to this earth to do—have a human experience with lessons, blessings, love, pleasure, freedom, growth, and my needs met.
When I feel resistance on this journey, I understand it as a sign to pause and “be there” for myself as a parent, a leader, a source of compassionate wisdom. In the limiting beliefs, doubts, and fears of trying new things my inner child is crying out for the validation I did not receive in my youth.
So, I honor this beautiful, forever innocent, ever-growing part of me by taking the time to pay attention. I’ve learned her patterns. I know what freightens her and how to calm the chaos so that she is whole and at peace for me to genuinely enjoy my life, becoming more and more free with every healing moment that passes.
So many areas of this life that I’ve taken for granted are helping me heal. I’m seeing what I didn’t see before. Even in allowing my partner to purchase a latte for me, I am surrendering to the death of the belief that I am unworthy because I spent the years of my youth receiving consistent abuse.
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Every hug, every moment of compassion, every time I am “wrong” and go unpunished, I am learning something new. It’s taken years of repetition to even notice and allow the healing to take place, but now I thank God that I’m in too deep to go back. I mustn’t be trapped any longer.
I get to care for my own needs, watch a movie that feels uplifting, take a hike in the woods instead of working, sleeping in, spending the night crying, simply feeling—letting music move me, challenging my creativity—there are so many forms of medicine that help me feel whole, bring me pleasure, give me a sense of validation and celebration.
I’m embracing the mystery as it unfolds too.
What am I to do, see, achieve, and enjoy today? I ask that question when I wake up each morning.
I clear my mind in blank pages and connect to The Divine via mediation. Sometimes I get clarity, sometimes there’s more confusion, and sometimes there’s a sense of empowerment to do something that scared the shit out of me the day before.
I live in the unknown now because I truly trust that life is rigged to work out in my favor. There’s nothing to fear.
My soul yearns to show you this, my mind asks, “How?”
My purpose tells me that my story is meant to inspire, my wisdom is meant to heal, and my mind asks, “Who?”
I’m learning that if I just do, I am living in the answers.
Let the soul do what it wants to and life will unfold the way it’s meant to.
If I were to choose a label, it would be too long for a name tag. I’ve never wanted to be boxed in any way. I never wanted to settle for ordinary. So, I’d get a custom tag that fits my life’s intention, description, and objective: “I am a multi-passionate artist. When I create art, I heal myself. When I share my art, I heal others.”
I can’t share everything. Some of my ponderings are just for me. Some of the beauty I create is simply for me to release a vision and then wear it—like the bracelets I’ve been making lately. Sometimes I need to live out a story a few times, in an essay, in a rhyme, in a design before I ever share it publicly.
Some thoughts remain pillow talk. Sometimes I forget a breakthrough as soon as I have it, but I remain forever changed. And sometimes, I simply need to dance and sing away a particular pain or add it to my collection of tattoos. My body has become a muse of mine, so divine. I like that a lot.
Allowing myself limitless forms of healing and expression in this way is the biggest lesson on reparenting that I can share. Give your inner child space to run in the grass with her feet bare, messy hair, a laugh that’s heard for miles, and unbridled creativity that scares you out of adulthood. Make that escape both sacred and safe and watch your boredom and depression be replaced by a relentless sense of freedom that loves you unconditionally. It’s your divinity.
Ramble on pages as I’ve done today because only when you are willing to make a mess, you are prepared to achieve great things.
Let life feel like pleasure, like rain, like poetry. I follow run-on sentences to the land of the free.
Reparenting is living in a constant state of spiritual awakening.